As a half-black, half-Jewish lesbian, I thought I had a pretty clear understanding of what it’s like to be a minority in America. Then an uprising started and knocked me off of my high horse. Each of my identities comes with its own challenge. In 2011, my wife and I got married in Chicago and traveled to Iowa to make it legal. The irony was that Iowa was the one place where I most felt unwelcome.

After spending time in reflection on #BlackOut Tuesday, I realized it’s time to share some of my story with y’all. Nine years ago, I moved to LA to become the next Norman Lear. I still haven’t seen the inside of a TV writers room. For two years, I had several UNPAID internships. One of them required a 40-hour work week. I was expected to work for free, but I wasn’t learning anything. 

We’re having a conversation about race that we’re not used to having. We’re all uncomfortable. We’re ashamed of others’ actions and we’re ashamed of our own. As a global community, every version of “normal” has been disrupted. Some of us are having an easier time coping with it than others. 

Today was the first time that I felt like I had permission to breathe. Because I am killing it in every area of my life, I hadn’t noticed that I was holding my breath. It became second nature to me. My black elders prepared me for my success, teaching me to work twice as hard as my white counterparts. They demonstrated how to lean on God when it all felt too much to bear. 

Y’all need to understand the beautiful gift of Blackout Tuesday. Let me paint a picture for you. Like most Americans, I went to work today in a slog. Because I’m amazing at self-care, I texted my boss all weekend to tell him that I wasn’t okay. But I went to work on Monday, pretending that I was. I opened Zoom meetings and smiled like everything was okay. When asked if I was okay, I admitted that I wasn’t.

The name “Spirit Uncensored” was born out of the Centers for Spiritual Living’s NextGEN retreat. Of course this year’s event was cancelled, but at a typical retreat, a variety of four-letter words are easily weaved into prayer. These uncensored prayers come with resounding celebration, but not because of the meaning of these four-letter words themselves. We celebrate our uncensored prayers because they’re authentic.

You now have the time, space and opportunity to look at your life from a new perspective. Do you like what you see? If you’re scared, now is a great time to start building a life around you that feels safe. If you’re anxious about the future, now is a great time to learn how to appreciate the present. If you’re sick, now is a great time to lean into faith. I’m confident that this unprecedented event will lead to lessons learned across the globe.

Back in April, my intuition pointed me to three spiritual principles to define Spirit Uncensored: Choice, Faith and Gratitude. However, my intuition failed to warn me that to lead this organization successfully, I would have to go through a gauntlet of spiritual lessons on the power of choice, faith and gratitude.

In 2018, I went from working on my dream, to actually living it. Viola Davis, one of the most inspirational women on the planet, trusts me to support JuVee’s mission to funnel diverse stories and talent into the entertainment industry. I co-created Spirit Uncensored, a radically-diverse spiritual community. I looked back over my year and realized that it’s time to realize that I am changing the world right now, by using my own voice.

When I launched a young adult ministry, Nora volunteered her Friday nights to plan my services, write music, and perform. She inspired me. A lot of the other teens did too. Whenever a parent visited the Global Truth Center (GTC) and dropped their surly teen off in teen group, these kids welcomed them in. And not in a weird, cult-y kind of way. It’s authentically genuine and warm.

This year, I spoke kindly to myself more often. When facing failure, I frequently choose to forgive myself. When it’s 11pm and I promised the cousin who is managing my social media that I’d write a blog, I’m proud of myself for pushing through the fatigue. But I’m also proud of every time I chose sleep over responsibility.

As a half-black, half-Jewish lesbian, I can honestly say from personal experience that love has everything to do with it. My entire life has been filled with uncomfortable experiences with ignorant people from all walks of life. My choice to greet ignorance with patience, understanding, and respectful conversation has consistently led to positive results.

Now is the time to demonstrate that love always wins. When we choose faith, compassion, and understanding in the face of uncertainty, we serve as examples of how the strength of love operates. The election results may have demonstrated how deeply this country is divided, but love is always powerful enough to bring us together.

What do you get when you mix hard work and determination with a well developed and well-researched plan? Logically, it seems that these elements are the building blocks of success. But if someone working to achieve success does not have a lot of faith in themselves or in their outcome, they are often left spinning their wheels.