For My Non-Black Friends…
We’re having a conversation about race that we’re not used to having. We’re all uncomfortable. We’re ashamed of others’ actions and we’re ashamed of our own. As a global community, every version of “normal” has been disrupted. Some of us are having an easier time coping with it than others.
My black friends are looking for wisdom. My non-black friends need wisdom too, but they don’t know where to look. All of their black friends are grieving. On #BlackOutTuesday, we learned how confused we feel when black folks in America announce that they aren’t available for your questions.
When I announced how I was honoring #BlackOutTuesday, I put my black friends first. If there was any day to put my black friends first, #BlackOutTuesday was that day. But my non-black friends were confused by the message. Were they honoring #BlackOutTuesday correctly?
No matter what color you are, every piece of content is not written with you in mind. It’s your responsibility to know what’s for you. My favorite Ernest Holmes quote is, “Find me one person who is for something and against nothing...and I will find another savior.” I’m not trying to be anyone’s savior. But I always resonated with the “for something and against nothing” part.
There was no wrong way to honor #BlackOutTuesday. Your behavior that day is a reflection of what you needed to know about your own traumas around systemic racism. We criticize each other online. We argue with our keyboards instead of face-to-face. We’re not talking to each other. If there was ever a moment in history designed to help us talk to each other, now is that moment.
Forgive me...I am literally writing this around 3am. I shouldn’t be publishing anything on the internet after 3am. In my 39 years on this planet, this is the first time that America told me that I had one day to process my feelings about my identity. I’m feeling very raw right now. But I’ve learned that we have to be willing to be raw and vulnerable. This is what being the change we wish to see in the world looks like. We have to have the authentic, uncomfortable conversations that we never noticed that we were avoiding.
