Recalibrating My Inner Spiritual Gangster
JOIN US ON 7/12 PT @ 5pm for SUNDAY NIGHT LIVE!
Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84415411346
I’m usually a master at my emotions. I literally walk around with t-shirts that say “Spiritual Gangster” acting as if I’m so tough, nothing could ever break my spirit. When Shelter-At-Home orders started, I only had ONE mini-meltdown. I was working from home for the first time in my life and realized I was woefully unprepared. Thankfully, my wife strapped on her superhero cape. She came to my rescue with office supplies, tips, and tricks to become a WFM Jedi Master.
The very next day, I was back in my Spiritual Gangster gear, prepared to inspire the masses. I stepped my game up as the senior minister of Spirit Uncensored, leading virtual happy hours. We started offering daily prayer online, now on Instagram Live at 6pm. As an aspiring TV writer, I used the extra time in my day to write new scripts. I was killing it.
Then the Civil Rights Revolution started. I was in the middle of applying for three different TV writing fellowships, facing deadlines in the same weekend that LA was on fire. In the month of May, I wrote two new comedy scripts all while balancing my full-time job as a TV executive and my unpaid job as a senior minister. I didn’t have time to give the revolution my attention. I had shit to do.
The universe tried to warn me to be gentle with myself. ABC, CBS and WB extended the writing fellowship deadlines. I could take more time off. Take more breaks. Drink water. Take naps! I didn’t do any of those things. I launched into overdrive, doing my best to step up and support my spiritual community. Because Spirit Uncensored is now virtual, the whole internet feels like my congregation. I refused to give myself the time and space to feel my feelings.
Eventually, my feelings refused to be silenced. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was racing with script ideas, online programs I could create, and blogs I should write. My friends and family started getting worried. My boss insisted that I take time off. I finally realized that I was cracking. I had to slow down. Rest. Take care of myself.
My story isn’t new. I’m not the only person in America experiencing sleep deprivation, anxiety and restlessness. However, I’m a minister. It’s my job to be a spiritual gangster. I’m not supposed to be like everyone else. I’m supposed to trust God, have faith, and inspire anyone watching on Instagram that we will get through this stronger than we were before.
The world as we knew it is no longer the same...how could I expect to be the same? As our new normal changes daily, we’re changing too. We’re learning a lot more about ourselves and each other. For a lot of us, this information is really uncomfortable. This is why now, more than ever, it’s crucial to take the time to get in sync with Source.
My anxiety, restlessness and sleep deprivation were symptoms, warning me that I wasn’t in harmony with Source. Just as our bodies are designed to feel pain when something is wrong, the pain in my heart was a sign that I was out of sync with Source. When Audra Nichole, RScP first suggested this theme, I was so out of aligngment, I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the concept.
Through daily prayer, meditation and journaling, I am happy to report that I’m now feeling more in sync with Source than ever. I’m learning how to recalibrate my inner Spiritual Gangster. This is why I’m so excited to co-lead this discussion on Sunday at 5p PT on Zoom with Audra. Join us for our next second Sunday monthly event, now called SUNDAY NIGHT LIVE! Here’s the link to connect: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84415411346
