It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye
I have written TV scripts, articles for Science of Mind Magazine, and the book, “Making Peace With Your Inner Shit-Talker”. All of these projects were easier to write than this goodbye letter. People asked if I was struggling because of concern for Spirit Uncensored’s future, an unwillingness to let go, or if I wasn’t feeling ready. The challenge is that this organization means soooo much to me that I’m still having a hard time putting it into words.
Spirit Uncensored was kinda my field of dreams. There was no mysterious voice telling me that if I built it, they would come. In retrospect, that voice was probably there. Still and small. But back then, I hadn’t learned how to listen. I was totally unprepared for how successful we were before we began. When Rev. David Allan Cruz and I founded it, we’d planned to host our first event in his spa, Happy & Relaxed, in Burbank, CA. But the excitement in the streets was palpable. It felt like everywhere I went, I was running into people asking questions.
“What’s this thing that you and David are doing?”
“What’s it going to be called?”
“When is the first one?”
“Can I help?”
We had to find a bigger venue to accommodate the 75 attendees, a full band, sound technician, and teens asking to represent Spirit Uncensored at the Centers for Spiritual Living (CSL) Teen Camp. After the success of our first event, Rev. David took a step back. Neither one of us signed up for all of this. I didn’t go to ministerial school to be a minister. I went for my own education. As a newly minted TV executive at JuVee Productions (my dream job), I thought I didn’t have the bandwidth to lead Spirit Uncensored. But Spirit had other plans.
Spirit Uncensored taught me the necessity of hearing and trusting that still, small voice. If I wanted to make the world a kinder, more inclusive, and spiritual place, I had to be willing to heal. This REQUIRED learning the difference between my inner shit-talker and my inner wisdom. I had to trust in that still small voice I’d learned to ignore. When I blew up my life and moved to Oklahoma in 2021, I was prepared to let Spirit Uncensored go. Still, the organization persisted.
As of this week, recurring donations are at an all-time high. The first annual Spirit Uncensored Retreat is being organized at Camp Cedar Ridge in November 2025. There are now two weekly Badass Spiritual Playgrounds (BSP). Luchan Baker III, RScP leads BSP: Tuesday Recess at 5p PT / 7p CT. We come together every Thursday at 8:30a PT / 10:30a CT for BSP: Civics Edition.
While I am stepping down, more people are stepping up to help. Spirit Uncensored’s demand to exist supersedes whatever is going on in my life. This organization brought itself into being. Everyone who has ever been called to support or participate in Spirit Uncensored has been divinely led. That’s never had anything to do with me.
Rev. Audra Nichole was always the person I imagined to serve as senior minister of Spirit Uncensored. Her leadership at the CSL NextGEN retreat inspired the name and vibe of our community. I am more than ready to step back and give her the space to shine. As I am watching Spirit shove Rev. Audra Nichole into senior ministry, I am reminded of how I felt that same way back in 2018. Somehow, Spirit Uncensored has always demanded to exist.
From Day 1, Spirit Uncensored and I have been ride-or-die. Even though I’m stepping down as senior minister, I am not abandoning this community. I will continue to serve as the secretary of the Board of Trustees until my term ends in two years. Just as Rev. Audra supported me in Spirit Uncensored’s formative years, I will have her back. I’ll still be hanging around those Badass Spiritual Playgrounds.
Today, my still small voice has made it clear that it’s time to focus my energy in Oklahoma City. The United Life Center for Spiritual Living community has selected me to serve as their senior minister. My first day is on Sunday, December 1st, 2024. Starting on that date, I will be speaking on Sundays at our temporary location at the Radiant Living Center. I am incredibly grateful to have had Spirit Uncensored serve as my spiritual playground to prepare me for spiritual leadership in Oklahoma City.
In today’s political landscape, I believe that Spirit Uncensored is the place where our country’s next generation of spiritual leaders learn how to listen to and trust their small voice. Just last month, Jessyca Moberg, RScP was installed in Spirit Uncensored’s first practitioner installation ceremony at Camp Cedar Ridge. Luchan Baker of BSP: Tuesday Recess says, “Nothing will stalk you harder than your greatness.” Rev. Audra, Rev. David, Jessyca and Luchan have all learned to embrace their greatness through their work in this organization. I know and trust Spirit Uncensored will continue to thrive, just as it has from the beginning.
